What Your Therapist Wishes She Could Say To You (and make you believe)

By: Paige Rocker, LPC-Associate (Supervised by Jennifer Buffalo, LPC-S, LMFT)

The mornings come quickly for me. I lose track of time, waiting until the last minute to grind my
coffee and wash my face. I find myself bumping into things in the kitchen and stressing about
having it all together, but most of the time, I don’t. This is completely normal, even for a therapist. It
can also feel grounding when I start washing my face and hyping myself up in the mirror before our
sessions. Regardless of the clock, I always manage to slide in at the last minute. We can make a lot
of assumptions about why this is.  The truth?  I have a lot on my mind because I’m also human. The
great thing about my therapy chair is that once my body sits in it, I can let all my thoughts flow, and
we can begin together.

I wish I could tell you that some of your stories mirror my own, and there are moments when my
heart hurts for you. However, I’ve been trained to not let that interfere with being present with you.
We’re all human and capable of feeling fragile. The work we do together holds deep meaning for me,
and sometimes it brings tears to my eyes, but I pull myself together to continue being present in our
sessions. Occasionally, I might feel tired before our sessions, so you might see me sipping coffee to
be insightful and helpful.

I wish I could express how much I’ve loved being a client in my own therapy and how therapy has
saved my life. I have also cried my eyes out in a chair and begged for guidance. I thought I’d never be
good enough to be a therapist or enjoy life again. I also wish I could tell you that my parents didn’t
provide the healthiest home environment for managing emotions, but I’ve learned, and you will too.
It’s a process, and you’ve got this.

You know that thing your partner did? Mine does it too, and it drives me crazy as well! I’m also a
lesbian in a relationship with a woman. We argue and annoy each other, but I love her anyway. Being gay used to be the hardest part of my queer journey, but with time, compassion, and self-acceptance,
it became easier. I began to see that there was nothing wrong with my love for another person, but
the people around me didn’t love me for who I truly was.

I wish I could tell you that I get triggered, annoyed, and frustrated because it’s a part of the healing
process and life itself. The real work lies in dealing with those emotions. When I started typing this
post, I didn’t expect it to take such an emotional toll on me. I cried because I care about you; you’ve
changed my life. As my client, you matter, and I feel helpful because I know you experience pain,
anxiety, depression, and feelings of unworthiness. I see you even when you don’t see yourself. I
believe in your power, and I’m here for you. I want you to consider these aspects of yourself.

I wish I could thank you for sharing moments of sadness, headaches, heartache, jokes, TikTok, and
even cursing. Thank you for always letting me know when I’ve missed the mark in our sessions.
Thank you for the laughter, communication, and reflection. What I wish you knew is that things can
be okay. Pain demands to be felt, and despite the past and present discomfort, your future can be
okay.  I say this because we can survive. Right now, in our sessions, you keep showing up for
yourself and putting in the work, and that’s what matters. I hope you enjoyed reading this message
because this moment and these words are what I have to offer.

One last thing to remember: Therapy is not a linear journey. Finding a therapist who makes you feel
comfortable and allows open communication is crucial. It helps you realize that “my therapist is the
right therapist for me”. Ultimately, it’s up to you to use the tools and strategies to create a better life.
You have the capability, and with a therapist by your side, you can achieve it.

Did something you read resonate with you? Reach out today to schedule a complimentary 30-minute
consultation with one of our skilled and caring clinicians.

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