Beyond the Fog: Understanding the Many Layers of Dissociation

By Emily Heimberger, LPC Associate

Supervised by Jennifer Buffalo, LPC-S, LMFT-S

Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like you were looking at a stranger? Or perhaps you’ve realized that large blocks of your afternoon, or even your childhood, feel like a “black hole” in your memory. Maybe you have experienced moments where your own hands didn’t feel like they belonged to your body.

In popular media, dissociation is often portrayed as “zoning out” or, at the other extreme, as something mysterious or scary. In reality, dissociation is a common and adaptive psychological experience. It is a creative way the mind handles more than it can process at once. This creates a disconnection between things that are usually integrated, such as your memories, your identity, your body, and your environment.

The Survival Logic of Disconnection

To understand dissociation, we have to understand the brain’s priority: survival. When we face a situation that is physically or emotionally overwhelming, especially when we are unable to fight or flee, the brain utilizes a “freeze” or “shutdown” response. By disconnecting from the immediate experience, the brain creates a psychological distance that allows us to endure the unendurable.

While this is a brilliant short-term survival tactic, the brain can sometimes get “stuck” in this mode. Even when the original threat is long gone, the nervous system might continue to use dissociation as its primary way of handling stress. This isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that your system is still trying to protect you.

The Many Layers of Dissociation

Because dissociation isn’t just one thing, it helps to look at the different ways it manifests. Most people navigate a combination of these layers:

• Disconnection from the Self (Depersonalization): This is the sense of being an outside observer of your own life. You might feel “numb,” as if you are operating on autopilot, or like your body is made of wood or cotton.
• Disconnection from the World (Derealization): Surroundings may seem distorted, blurry, or like a movie set. The environment may feel “flat,” or you may feel like you’re living behind a thick pane of glass.
• Disconnection from Memory (Dissociative Amnesia): This involves gaps in memory that feel more significant than everyday forgetfulness. You might find “lost time” in your day or have difficulty recalling important periods of your life.
• Disconnection of Identity (Identity Fragmentation): You may feel as though you are divided into different “parts” or “states” that have their own ways of thinking. This can lead to feeling like you aren’t always the one “driving” your own life.

The Path Back to Connection

If you resonate with these descriptions, it’s important to know that you are not “broken.” Your brain is simply using an old survival tool that is no longer serving you.

In a therapeutic setting, the goal isn’t to force the “fog” away, but to help your nervous system feel safe enough to stay in the present. Here are a few ways we work with dissociation:

• Grounding Techniques: We practice tangible tools that use your five senses to anchor you to the “here and now.”
• Building Somatic Awareness: Learning to recognize the subtle physical “cues” your body sends right before you begin to drift away.
• Expanding Your Window of Tolerance: We work on widening your nervous system’s capacity to hold “big” feelings without automatically flipping the “off” switch.
• Parts Work (IFS): We help you get curious about the “parts” of you that use dissociation to protect you. By building internal trust, those parts can eventually feel safe enough to let you stay present.
• EMDR: We process the underlying “stuck” memories that trigger the need to disconnect, allowing your brain to realize those past events are over and the present is safe.
• Pacing and Safety: Trauma-informed care means we never move faster than your system is ready for.

You Don’t Have to Live “Beyond the Fog” Alone

Dissociation can be an incredibly isolating experience because it’s hard to put into words. You might fear that you’re “going crazy.”

You aren’t. Your mind is doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe. Together, we can work to help you feel fully alive, present, and at home in your own skin again.

Take the first step toward reconnection. Book a complimentary consultation today.